Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcylce Maintenance--A Manual for Life Maintenance

Pirisg, Robert M.. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. New York: Bantam, 1981. (380 pages, 31 chapters)

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was written by Robert M. Pirsig and originally published in 1974. Since then, it has enjoyed several republications due to its popularity. Its 380 pages are divided into four parts and 31 chapters. The book doubles as the story of a motorcycle journey across the United States in which the narrator searches for forgotten truths and an understanding of his son and as a modern work of philosophical thought and application. Throughout the journey, the narrator shares a Chautauqua with the reader, which he defines as “an old-time series of popular talks intended to edify and entertain, improve the mind and bring culture and enlightenment to the ears and thoughts of the hearer.” (7) His Chautauqua, exploring the duality of technology and art, Classicism and Romanticism, mingle with the story of the journey and bring insights to his relationship with his son. Flashbacks also show the life of a man called Phaedrus years previously, the narrator’s own life before receiving electroshock therapy to cure Phaedrus’s insanity. The trek across the nation reconciles the dualities of object and subject, father and son, past and present.

The story flows very well and the intermingling of different, well-placed modes of narration bring added insight to each preceding section. The depth of the author’s skill in writing and clarity of thought is evident in his ability to explain philosophical ideas on a level that most readers can understand, with some thought, of course. He uses everyday occurrences to supply metaphor and application for these ideas. From this comes the motorcycle maintenance element of the title. The motorcycle provides a vehicle—pun may or may not be intended—for illustrating the differences in Classical and Romantic thought, showing parts versus whole. His goal in addressing this dualism is its elimination, or rather, a recreation in reconciliation. This is done by Quality, a third entity that I can only shortly define as the godly characteristic inherent in all good work, undefinable, yet evident. Hearers, readers, onlookers can all perceive it when experiencing a work of quality, whether it be a beautiful poem or a masterful weld-job. It is Quality that makes life worth living. It is Quality that is worth.

This discussion of quality, and one of its sub-discussions of gumption, brought me the most insight into my life and my own work. This book reads much differently than older masterpieces of literature. Pirsig does not remind me of Joyce, Longfellow, or Shakespeare, yet I feel the quality of his work. It has shown me that popular and practical prose can be meaningful and moving. His story has awakened and enlightened an understanding of myself, of my desire to pursue excellence in life, in all of life. I never want to produce another shoddy piece of work again.

Pirsig’s book is not perfect. Some of his story is left unsaid, perhaps only comprehensible to him and his son. Other statements made by the narrator do not resonate with me. I value Eastern philosophies and religious practices, respect and admire many of them, yet do not agree with all of those introduced by the narrator. But its limitations and delimitations do not remove the Quality from this story.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in self-reflection and a different perspective on the world. It is some of the most accessible philosophy I have read, understandable and applicable to the current world.

The Seed of Humility: Final Blog

The blaring sun penetrated my freshly tanned skin as I swaggered across campus. Not bothering to step aside for underclassmen, it was finally my turn to take advantage of the senior rank and privileges, and I thought it was going to be the best year ever. Little did I know that in spite of my confidence, my senior year was not going to be as picture perfect as I had dreamed.

What is a quest? What factors inspire individuals to devote their energy and soul to a specific pursuit? Well, that is exactly what I learned this semester. I’ve come to realize that my life is like the transformation of a single seed into a beautiful flower.

Just like the flower, I lived life to the fullest during the Summer, casting away all cares and strife. Anticipating the thrill and accomplishment I would bask in upon achieving my collegiate goals. It was during this time of bliss and arrogance that I was complacent; I should have been constantly preparing and improving myself each day. Instead, I ignorantly allowed dangerous weeds to start to entangle and ensnare me.

Suddenly, the first storm of Fall hit me like a chilling frost. My senior year started, but definitely not the way I thought it would. As a Violin Performance Major, it’s a common occurrence to audition and compete for position and rank among my peers; yet, my complacency during the Summer greatly affected my performance. Also, as a first time mom, the stage of “morning sickness” was more like the 24 hour flu – for two and a half months. Thus, these factors put an even greater strain on my abilities to perform at school, church, and home.

Sitting in the bleakness of Winter, I let an icy tear tremble down my face. Why was this happening to me? Why now, my final year of college? Feeling absolutely alone, with no one to turn to, I felt like giving up. Degraded to my very roots, I had nothing left to give. Over time, I became humbled and realized who truly gives life to my roots and helps me become beautiful – Christ. Christ is always there for me even when I am the weakest. He gave me the strength I needed to hope for the Spring. Christ knew how to help, lead, guide, and support me through trials because he overcame every December. It is only through Christ that we can even hope for Spring. With meekness, and fully devoting my very roots to Christ, I was reborn as I humbly entered the Spring.

As my newly rejuvenated life was budding, I still relied on Christ to sustain me through my instability. Blessings from Heaven poured down upon me giving me nourishment as I searched the scriptures and held meaningful prayers. One of the greatest blessings that I received was the reassurance of the Holy Ghost. While anxiously seeking comfort through the scriptures I was lead to Doctrine and Covenants 78:17-18

Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.

What joy and peace that scripture brought my soul; Christ truly knew exactly what I needed, and He was there to strengthen me. Over time, as I worked diligently to turn my life and efforts to Christ, I bloomed into a beautiful flower. It was in my weakest time that I turned to Christ, and he enabled me to transform my weakness into my greatest strength.

Going through this rejuvenating process, I came to understand what my quest was this semester. Both my spiritual and intellectual quests were intertwined, and as I aspired to progress in one area the other was equally improved. When I truly thought about this being my last year of college, I knew that I wanted to get the most out of my education as possible. I devoted myself to practice longer, study harder, and always do my very best. It seemed like being sick would get in the way of my pursuit, but that is where my spiritual quest balanced the weight. Through the burden of sickness, I have grown closer to the Lord and my growing baby girl. The brethren have stated that pregnant women go through pain and trials which are the closest experience on earth that can be compared to the intense pain that Christ suffered during His great sacrifice. What an amazing blessing for me to have the opportunity to be so intimately close to the Lord! I was constantly striving to become as Christ like as possible through devotion, scripture study, and prayer.

Now, even though the white snow is fluttering to the frozen ground, I am not in the Winter of my life. Because of my quests, my hard work and dedication paid off. I was promoted partly through the year to a higher position in the orchestra, and my health is strong and I can almost eat whatever I want :-). The sun is shining, and because of a humble seed, my Spring flower is beautiful through Christ, the Lord.

Does that answer your QUESTion?

Parker Heiner
Spiritual and Intellectual Quests

“What,” dramatic pause, “is your name?” croaks the Bridgekeeper.
“Uhh, Parker Heiner. Of Arizona. Sort of.”
“What,” dramatic pause, “is your quest?” asks the Bridgekeeper.
I think for a while. “Are you sure you want me to tell you? I mean, I’ve been working on this for a semester now, and I ought have it down pretty good, but it’s going to take a little while for me to explain, so if you’ve got the time. I guess you’re the Bridgekeeper and can’t really go anywhere else, so here goes…”

“People are always more important.” Craig Decker’s first maxim in life rings like a tuning fork of perfect C. Clear, resounding, and unwavering, it is a truth I have denied some of my life, but which I have begun allowing to resonate within myself for the past several years. It becomes even clearer in the wake of Craig’s passing, as the waves of his life continue to influence mine. I pull a short excerpt from his family’s comments, “Craig Decker passed away tragically on July 5th 2008. However, in his short 25 years of life he has had a profound effect on thousands of people in such a positive way that we, as is family, have created this site to be a collecting ground for memories, inspiration and as a tool to continue on his legacy and hopefully make the world a better place.” This blog is incredible. You can read for hours and continually see new and incredible ways that Craig influenced others. This is a measure of how well he lived that first maxim of life.

Craig is not the first person to believe and live such a statement. Much earlier in my life, some nine months before my birth, another person who lived the same personal law set me on my mortal spiritual and intellectual quests. Growing up, my mother always focused on people, on improving their lives, on loving and caring and giving and never ever tearing down. Many a time did I groan at her “Life is about relationships, honey.” Only recently have I realized that this is the drive shaft in the vehicle of becoming what I want to spiritually and doing what I want to intellectually.

I share the same basic goal of most people I know—I want to be happy. My study of the Gospel and as much life experience as I could pack into my scant 23 and a half years has shown me that I need people. James Barry, the author of Peter Pan, once wrote, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” Far too often, we insist on the gloom of self-pity, self-righteousness, self-despair, self-ridicule, or self-esteem. It is when we lose our lives that we gain them, when we forget ourselves that the Lord remembers us. All activities of the Gospel have the goal of bringing us happiness and they all inspire the same desire—service to our fellowman.

And I cannot disassociate my mind from my spirit, and so cannot, nor should, take the spiritual out of the intellectual in my pursuits. Ultimately, I seek the opposite goal—a marriage of the two—as I search for knowledge and the application thereof. As I gain in understanding of the world and of man, I hope both for a better understanding of God and to aid others in seeing the divinity in it all. In them. I pursue an understanding of everything so that I can understand everyone, and in understanding them, I hope to add to them.

My spiritual and intellectual quests seek to drive me to one shared goal: peace with myself and with my God. Through all the experiences that I have had in life, I have recognized the wisdom of those who have taught me through word and deed that this is done primarily through people. What good is all the scripture study and prayer if it does not lead you to do good, as Christ did? What good is all the knowledge and expertise in the world if it does not lead you to serve others? As President Monson shares in the most recent First Presidency message, “It was said of Jesus of Nazareth that He ‘increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.’ Do we have the determination to do likewise? One line of holy writ contains a tribute to our Lord and Savior, of whom it was said, He ‘went about doing good…; for God was with him.’” The measure of his good, and thus, the development of his mind and spirit, can be seen in the lives he changed. When I act in accordance with Christ’s will, following his example, I am happy and I am fulfilled, for I am serving. That is my quest.

The Bridgekeeper seems too busy snoring to ask me a third question, so I walk across.

A Simple re-Quest

"Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing, eats away at our soul, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives." - Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist, xi

We've all met bitter old people. My nightmare is becoming one of those. This summer, my nightmare became much more real as I worked in a world-class university for public health, my career of choice. My life took a dramatic change of course as I opened a PDF document as part of the thousands of pages of reading I was to do for my internship. Images and Reflections: Photography and Public Health was an incredibly insightful article published in a scholarly journal for my field and written by the chair of the department for which I was interning. I sent an email to Dr. Nigel Bruce and he enthusiastically replied. We shared a passion for both photography and public health. Over the summer, we worked together on developing a hypothetical university-level course on those two subjects. At the end of my internship, I had to conduct several interviews of public health professionals. Nigel told me that although he was happy enough (as the department chair of the second-best public health program in the world), if he were to do it over again he would instead explore his interest in photography. Red flag.

Why, you may wonder, if I love photography so much would I choose to study public health? I am pragmatic. And I'm not alone.

Oscar Wilde said: "Each man kills the thing he loves." And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. I have known a lot of people who, when their personal calling was within their grasp, went on to commit a series of stupid mistakes and never reached their goal - when it was only a step away.

This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you're here. -Coelho, xii

If there's one secret I may not have outed yet in the class, it would be that I am an incense-burning hippie. Hence, these words strike a chord with me. I love the idea that finding our personal calling in life and following it isn't just nice, it's the ultimate contribution we can make to humanity. This, then, was my intellectual and spiritual quest: to find my personal calling.

It may seem obvious to you where this is going. And yet it has been quite a rollercoaster for me. I have considered graduating and trying to find a job working in refugee health, taking premed courses and becoming a midwife so that my utility in third world countries is increased, and finishing out both of my minors before leaving BYU. These all seemed to be fairly reasonable, relatively safe options for my life. Convincing yourself that applying for the photo program is a good idea when you are already in your victory lap of your undergraduate, however, is much more difficult.

Pascal once said in Pensees that, roughly translated, after meditating on all of the many horrible things that exist and occur as a result of mankind's folly, he had decided all of these things were the result of one single problem: people have forgotten how to spend time in solitary introspection.

I applied this to my personal quest, which was difficult as I am naturally a very social creature and dislike being alone. However, I found myself processing many intersections that had happened in my life, including the arguably chance meeting with a street performer who inspired me to follow my dream at any cost by showing me that success is a combination of personality and positive conspiracy of the universe. This one multifaceted episode took me the entire semester to dissect, and I have yet to finish. However, I feel that I've gained much from the process itself.

And so it is that through a more thorough exploration of my options, frequent and deep introspection, and meditative reflection, I have arrived at the end of the semester and this course. After all this and more flip-flopping than candidates in the presidential primaries, I have decided to apply to the photo program. Meetings with faculty members have proved encouraging and I have a decent chance at getting in. My intellectual and spiritual quest, then, is changing. Now I must understand how and why to follow my calling in life, while keeping in mind a somewhat worrisome but ultimately encouraging quote (again from Coelho):

We who fight for our dream, suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuse: "Oh, well, I didn't really want it anyway." We do want it and know that we have staked everything on it and that the path of the personal calling is no easier than any other path, except that our whole heart is in this journey. Then, we warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know that the Universe is conspiring in our favor, even though we may not understand how.

And with that, I leave you - may you find and follow your personal calling in life as well.

The Quest

I tried to construct an intricate model, but it was nothing but a card castle, easily collapsed, with no real beauty, only the ability to fascinate momentarily; a novelty, yes, but no work of art. So tonight I write what’s on my heart. If not genius, If not classic material, at least it will be heartfelt. And what else matters.

My spiritual quest is my becoming, and my search for the joy that does not fade. I seek to open my heart, sharpen my senses and feel the world around me, to feel the people around me. Not only to study, but to live.

My spiritual quest is my attempt to touch butterfly wings—without breaking them. It is the tolling of my own liberty bell – purposeful, true, and meaningful. I spiritual quest is cutting through all the chains that bind me—fear, sin, selfishness—with a ballpoint pen. It is my search for divinity within myself and within others.

Our trip to aspen grove was a spiritual way mark for me. Yes, now I can say that I’ve been on an eight hour hike, but that wasn’t the real beauty of the trip. Neither were the mountains, though lovely, my summit. Instead, it was the people—the dear, sweet people.

I came to understand that I was among the best of mankind. I was among the kind and the genuine, the accepting and the spiritual. Until Aspen grove I did not know that the ability to give a heartfelt compliment was a spiritual gift. In the mountains I discovered that my professor is a human being. I grew to love, wholeheartedly, this class these people. Wistful as it may sound, part of me wishes that people weren’t graduating, weren’t leaving, so that we could continue class every day for the rest of our lives. Or perhaps, in the spirit of my quest book, just every Tuesday.

My intellectual quest is not separate from my spiritual quest; knowledge without meaning is nothing. My intellectual journey has been one of growth and collapse. I nurture a field of corn, a decent crop for the year. But come next year all my knowledge has decomposed. I’m just now learning that breakdown is not failure; it is simply the key to fertile ground and growth.

I’m just now understanding lessons from years ago. I quit gymnastics when I was twelve but there on sweaty mats was the key to learning: The gymnast will hit the ground, does hit the ground, but the real gymnast stands again and again, and again. So it is with the scholar.

I hope that each member of this class lives the life of a star. Not the celebrity kind, but the kind which burns in the night sky. I pray that we spend our lives in fusion, in bringing together ideas, feelings, and people. Perhaps some days our souls will expand, as though they encompass eternity. Other times they may collapse, seemingly tragic. Expand, collapse, expand, collapse. What we cannot forget is this: more soul-elements form with each collapse. There is growth in each challenge. Then one day we’ll supernova, and for a moment be spectacular Illuminated stardust. But in the end, people as great as these here, these dear sweet people, will collapse, not into pain, but into black holes: invisible, powerful, and all absorbing

Spiritual Quest

"Through Heavens Eyes"

To exemplify my spiritual quest I chose the phrase, "Look at your life Through heaven's eyes," from the song lyrics from the Prince of Egypt. For as we look at our lives through heavens eyes, we see the purpose of our trials more clearly and more clearly our true value.

I was born in Santa Clara County Hospital on December 26, 1984. I spent most of my childhood living in Napa Valley, California. Growing up I spent time living with both my mother and my father who separated when I was four years old. I lived with my father on weekends, who took me to church on Sundays; and my mother on weekends, who was not an active member of the church.

When I finished elementary school, my life took a bad turn. My father moved away and, having a lack of fatherly support, I struggled making the transition from elementary school to junior high. I struggled both socially and in school. Toward the end of my junior high years, my mother began to have financial difficulties. She ended up losing her home, so I moved in with my father in Palo Alto who I had scarcely seen in 3 years.

While these times seemed difficult to me, and I didn't understand why I needed to go through such things, I found that these experiences set the stage for my further spiritual progression. When I moved in with my Father, I went to church for a while. Though I wasn't terribly interested in religion at the time, this move put me in an environment that exposed me to the gospel.

High school was a difficult time. I had trouble getting along with my Father, I didn't excel in school, I didn't have a lot of friends. During this time, my life seemed pretty meaningless. I got up in the morning, sometimes, went to school on occasion. These times were difficult, but the experiences sent me into important introspection. I began to ponder on the purpose of life which better prepared me to receive the fullness of the gospel later.

My senior year in high school, I was finally instilled with a desire to change my life. My friends were all going off to college while I was left without much hope. During this time I began to search for spiritual knowledge. I asked myself what I wanted in life. I decided I wanted a family, I wanted a good life, but I had idea how to get it. I received a visit from the local priest quorum adviser. He invited me to read the Book of Mormon and pray to know if it was true. I'll admit, I didn't read the Book of Mormon, but I did attend church, and I did pray to find out if there was a god. A week later, I received a strong confirming whiteness that there was a God. The experience changed my life drastically.

Life is But a Weaving
Benjamin Malachi Franklin

"My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors
He weaveth steadily.
Oft' times He weaveth sorrow;
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I the underside.
Not 'til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas
And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful
In the weaver's skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned"

After the spirit witnessed to me, I was able for the first time to see my life, and my experience, at least in part, the way that my Heavenly Father saw. I saw that the dark threads of adversity had set the stage fore my conversion.

Though I had more knowledge after my conversion experience, and have continued to gain knowledge since, my spiritual quest has not changed very much. I strive to "Look at [my] life through heavens eyes." Now it's not so much looking back at it is looking forward. As I go through the day I strove to better understand what the Savior would do if he were in my situation. All my successes, and all my trials, I try to look at from a heavenly perspective, or eternal perspective as we often call it. As I look at my life with this perspective see my successes as a time for gratitude, and my trials as a time to grow and turn more fully to the Lord.

"A single thread in a tapestry-
Though its color brightly shine-
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design.

"And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountain's mighty face-
Does it think it's more important
Than the stones that form the base?

"So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life,
Look at your life through heaven's eyes.

"A lake of gold in the desert sand
Is less than a cool fresh spring-
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy
Is greater than the richest king.
If a man lose ev'rything he owns,
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

"So how do you measure the worth of a man-
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come,
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heaven's eyes."

HONORS 300R – MY INTELLECTUAL AND SPIRITUAL QUEST

My intellectual quest can be summed up in just two words: education, and stewardship. My ultimate goal is to acquire as much knowledge on this earth as I can so that I can use it to help and educate others. By pursuing medicine, a field where learning never ends and where new research is constantly being attained, I believe that I can fulfill my intellectual quest.

Even as a young child, I have always had this drive to learn, not only from teachers and books, but also from involving myself in sports teams, choirs, volunteer work, and travelling to other countries. Every opportunity that has not passed me by has sculpted me into who I am today.

Without having realized it before, I have noticed that throughout my life, my own way marks had been set, discretely, from the day I mastered the alphabet, struggled with high school chemistry, to the day I was accepted into BYU. Every inch along my educational path is getting me closer to becoming the physician I have always wanted to be.

I cannot remember the exact moment I decided on becoming a doctor, but for all of my twenty years of living, no other profession has trumped this one. My passion is to heal others whom are ill and unhealthy and to make a difference in their lives. I can only do this if I have the appropriate knowledge. Sharing this knowledge and informing people about their bodies, can allow them to help themselves also, and I hope they can be inspired this way. What good is having knowledge if it cannot be shared and passed on?

Both my grandfather and closest aunt are OB/GYN. I believe that a combination of both my grandfather delivering me as a baby, the first to hold me, and the great role model my aunt is for me has been a great influence. Their same passion for medicine too, runs in my blood.

* * * * * *

Intellect and spirituality, for me, are not separate and discrete from each other. They are analogous to my vital organs; intellect is like my brain, spirituality, is my heart. I could not live with one and not the other; both keep me alive and make me a whole person.

My spiritual quest in just two words: truth and happiness. Although these terms seem vague, I interpret them in an important and meaningful way. My search for truth is through Jesus Christ; it would be useless to look anywhere else. Coming to BYU, even as a catholic, has greatly strengthened my spirituality. I do not know if it is because I am in an environment with so many spiritual people, who are living, or striving to live, the gospel, but I have noticed a change in my life, for the better, and I have drawn closer to Christ. He is the light, and I can always look to Him for guidance.

One of the main components of my happiness, and one of my favorite Latter-day Saint emphases, is on the family. I love my family; they are the root of my happiness. From them I have learned to be a compassionate, loving and trusting individual. My quest has been to use these tools and apply them to the people I meet, since we are all apart of God’s family. Such a task is not always easy. Just like with sibling rivalry, conflicts arise amongst other people, and it can be difficult to be so compassionate, loving or trusting.

This quest, like my intellectual quest, has been challenging at times, and it is during these times when I seek Christ’s help. One quote I admire from Dag Hammarskjold’s “Markings”, is:
Does he sacrifice himself for others, yet for his own sake – in megalomania?
Or does he realize himself for the sake of others? The
Difference is that between a monster and a man. “A new
Commandment I give unto you: that ye love one another.” (page 69).

Christ paid the penalty for all of my sins, and I must not forget that. The small trials that I experience cannot compare to His atoning sacrifice. I must remember Christ’s love and the love of my family, especially when things have dampened my happiness.

Like the happiness my family has given me, I, too, hope to build my own family on the principles of support and happiness.

The Large And The Small Plates (Final Blog)

As Nephi, we all should have our own large and small plates to record about our intellectual and spiritual quests.

Intellectual Waymarks:

My intellectual quest is to master the art of writing using the English language. It has been my intellectual quest since I understood the value of the power of words and it will be until I have accomplished that goal. I understand that it may take my whole life since learning a language is an endless work, but how useful is our life if we don’t do what we enjoy to do. And I love to write in English.

I wrote this in my commonplace book: “ ‘The mastering of writing shouldn’t be limited to academic writing.’ I think that this is right. The mastering of writing should include all genres of writing. The accomplished writer should be able to use different genres”.

I understand that the goal of being an accomplished writer involves a lot of reading and I like to read, therefore, I guess this goal is feasible in my lifetime. Now, it can be understood why I took writing classes in the past, why I took a writing class this semester and why I will continue to take other writing classes while in college.

Spiritual Waymarks (1 Nephi 6:5)

I wrote about Aspen Grove and the Eternal Cycle of Water in my commonplace book. The cycle of water resembles the eternal cycle of life. We are part of a greater work. We are given time and freedom and a place in the Plan of Salvation.

My spiritual quest is to become the hands of God to bless others. I strongly believe that God has put us on this earth to be his hands to bless his children. Maybe this explains why in the exercise “This Is Why We Give” I came up with at least seventeen reasons to give. I also believe that the more education we get, the more empowered we will be to better serve others.

The conclusion about these waymarks is the reaffirmation that I am heading in the right direction in my intellectual and spiritual quests to unfold my mind and spiritual perspectives.

Filling the Triangle - My Spiritual Quest (by Kialei)

While pondering my spiritual quest, there were a lot of seemingly unconnected ideas that kept running through my mind. Rather than let them remain in their state of chaos and distract me from accomplishing anything else, I decided to start writing what came to mind and see what happened.

First off, something I believe very strongly and see examples of daily – happiness is a choice. Our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to be happy, and He has set up a glorious and perfect plan for us to do so. While He has laid out the framework, however, it is up to us to take advantage of that and do what is necessary.

Another thing I have a huge testimony of is free agency. We make our own choices and are made to endure the consequences of said choices – good or bad. They say blessings are brought to pass through others. President Kimball told us, “The Lord answers our prayers, but it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”



I think the same holds true with tribulation. One person’s personal tests in life result in another’s joy or heartbreak, depending on if the first person passes or fails. The example that comes to my mind is rape – it isn’t that God is punishing the victim, it’s that one person made a horrible choice and another person is made to suffer the consequences. While this may seem unfair, it is the only way that agency can work. In order to make good choices, there must be an option to make bad ones. By making good choices with our agency, we help others on the path to happiness. By making bad choices, we make their journey more difficult.

Next, the subject of service has been on my mind a lot lately. Every time I feel unproductive, unhappy, or frustrated with the way my life is going, I always seem to realize that, if I did more service, I would be happier. This logic is twofold – first, we are told that blessings come from service, and second, when we focus on others rather than ourselves, we always seem to find that we are more upbeat, have a better attitude and perspective, and feel better about ourselves. The result: service equals happiness.



After looking over the written manifestation of the workings of my brain, my initial thought was, “wow, back to square one, this is just a bunch of random concepts, not material for a presentation.” After a little more reflection, however, I began to see the connection – and the connection suddenly made perfect sense with the progress I have made this semester.

Here we go. Try to stay with me.



The Lord has given us all individual talents and abilities. Each of us has the ability to help people in different ways, and there are things we can do for others that no one else can do. Often, we find that the ways in which Christ strengthened us are the ways in which we can help others. Based on our experiences, knowledge, natures, and blessings from the Lord, we are more sensitive and in-tune with those needs in other people, and we have the desire to do our part to fill that need.

It’s like a triangle, with “God”, “me/you,” and “others” as the vertices, with whatever our talent is filling in the center. Christ strengthens us in whatever area we need, and we, in turn, can help others in the same way.



For me, the triangle seems to be filled with empathy. The Lord has been so kind, loving, and understanding to me throughout my life, especially in a few particularly memorable situations. Because of this, I feel like I have a heightened desire to relate and empathize with friends and acquaintances that are having a hard time. I have been blessed with the ability to recognize many problems that people are having and figure out subtle ways to provide assistance.

As I have recognized this extra sense that I seem to possess, my next step is to put this blessing into action. It is one thing to recognize a need but quite another to actually do something about it. However, where much is given, much is required, and I am starting to realize that, if I let this God-given talent go to waste, I will be rejecting Christ and what He has done to strengthen me in this area. It’s my job to uncover these talents and build upon them – asking the Lord for help, exerting effort, and putting them into practice.

I guess that’s the point, really. Christ helps us in ways that we don’t even recognize. But when we do recognize His hand in our lives, we learn from it and are grateful. That gratitude and newly acquired knowledge inspire us to improve ourselves and help others in the process. Because of the assistance that we are given, we are able to pass that assistance on to others… and the Lord’s love, empathy, and mercy are spread to all His children.

My Quest: To Love God

• Mark12:30 "And thou shalt love the Lord with all they heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment"
  

• Levels of Motivation

1. Riches and Honor
2. Good Companionship
3. Fear of Punishment
4. Sense of Duty
5. Eternal Reward
6. Charity

• 1 John 4:10 "Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us..."
• Becoming Like Christ
  

Intellectual Quest Blog

This semester, I read Lakota Woman by Mary Crow Dog. Initially, this is what sparked my intellectual quest. The book is mostly about the life for Mary Crow Dog, but it also mentions the American Indian Movement (AIM). AIM is a Native American activist organization who stood up for the rights of Native Americans around the country, because at the time the Native American’s rights were being ignored. As a result of their efforts, AIM created many opportunities for Native Americans. In fact, I believe that, if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Reading this book I could not help but become angry at what happened to Native Americans, especially while reading about the discrimination and injustice that they faced. Right away, I felt a need to contribute something to Native Americans, just as the AIM did. However, I felt that there was nothing I could do.
My mother had read this book also; therefore I expressed my frustration of wanting to help but also feeling that there is nothing for me to do. She was the person who pointed out that another purpose of the AIM movement was to educate those Native Americans of their rights that they themselves were not aware of. It was then that I realized that I may not be able to help other native Americans like the AIM did, but I can help by getting an education and then going back to my reservation to spread that knowledge to my people. Thus, this is what is at the heart of my intellectual quest; learning so that I may help others.

Final: My Quests

During this semester I've learned a great deal and my quest has helped motivate me along the path of that learning.

My spiritual quest:
One of my goals in my spiritual quest was so give my spirit and the convictions of my soul a voice. I've always wanted to help give a voice to the voiceless, to make known the story of those who couldn't make their stories known. I feel that before we can give a voice to others we have to find our own and help our hearts speak out just as well as our mind already can. Through my writing this semester I've started to find ways to express my experiences, feelings and beliefs.

My intellectual quest:
Another of my goals was to strengthen my desire to learn. I believe I have begun to accomplish this as well. I've wanted to learn for learning's sake, not just for a grade or for a test. One of the greatest helps to me this semester was writing the David O. McKay essay. I had to learn so much to write it and make it sound good (at least to myself). I had to learn about myself and about each of the things I wrote about. I did research to broaden my mind and enrich the topic. I didn't even use all of the things that I learned in the essay, but they did help to make it better. Learning has continued to strengthen my mind.

I've also wanted to further develop my abilities as a creative writer and increase my capacity to play with language and use it as a tool of expression. Through practice I feel I've also been successful in this goal.

The whole: as seen from one of its parts

Note: the red font segments may be somewhat annoying, but they have a useful purpose. I will follow them as an outline of sorts during the presentation. Rather than read the entire blog, I will just make sure I touch on each of those main highlighted points.

In my first year of college, in the liberal arts tradition, I approached learning with a feeling of wholeness. The college gave each freshman student a cohort group of twelve to twenty others, and as cohorts we studied a wide range of subjects. Following each other from class to class, we linked commonalities between varying subject matter.

The campus community read one text that year, Barbara Kingsolver’s Poisonwood Bible, and we incorporated it into our biology, writing, history, social sciences, etc. This framework of a common text between common students and teachers gave a universal language and sense of wholeness to our learning experience. After transferring from that school to come to BYU, I still worked to create for myself such a cohort experience as much as I could in the midst of a spacious student body. By researching teachers, classes, and study buddies’ schedules, I have found each semester marked by a sense of wholeness. Instead of having my education categorized—"first I walk to Statistics, then attend Research Methods, then do homework for Adolescent Development," and so forth—I have rejoiced in examining the areas of overlap between subjects. In bringing every separate subject and teacher into a realm of shared themes, I have enhanced my learning as a whole.

This semester, I decided to create a cohort theme based on increasing my understanding of morality. Therefore, I carefully researched the most quality teachers and courses and ultimately enrolled in:
· Moral Development, a research-based course
· Moral Foundations, a philosophical slant on the same research
· Writing the Quest (including documentation of the spiritual, or moral journey)
· Research Assistantship (under the direction of Dr. James Harper and the “Flourishing Families” project, I analyze the behavior of parents and children, making moral judgment calls on the positive and negative aspects of their interactions as a trained coder)

All these classes complement each other beautifully . The threads I have woven to tie them together as a whole have included theories of guilt and redemption, a recognition of humans as relational beings, and a notation of God’s intention for families, among other moral themes.

The idea of seeking wholeness in education is reminiscent of fractal patterns, a mathematical concept in which a part of the whole bears sameness to the whole. A snowflake is a fractal pattern; an ocean’s musical wave sounds are fractal patterns. And God is like a fractal pattern, with each of his children being parts of His whole, branching out like snowflake lace from a single molecular center, tumbling from the sky in a chorus of angel voices. The ideal of wholeness also transcends modern times, as most ancient art demonstrates merging between the spiritual and the everyday aspects of people's lives. Only recently have the nations attempted to compartmentalize spirituality, or propose a separation of private and public lives.

My spiritual quest, in keeping with the theme of examining morality, has involved seeing myself as a moral being, capable of making good choices or bad. As a child of God, I often feel more inclined to follow my inherent divinity and choose “the good.” When I choose rightly, I feel in harmony with the whole earth, in love with God, humanity, and learning. In contrast, when I stray from goodness, I tend to feel discord in my sense of wholeness. I experience a feeling of broken separation from God and others, and a lack of unity in my both my spiritual and intellectual parts. Such feelings of discomfort motivate me to get back in line with the fractal pattern of which I am a part. My quest this semester, both intellectual and spiritual (for they are both part of the same pattern!) has been to join the various parts of my life together in a beautiful whole.

My Spiritual and Intellectual Quest.

Intellectual Quest.

As a young girl I thought that I had a career picked out. I knew what I wanted and I had a plan to get it. Then the years started to pass by and my view of the world, my abilities, and the career I had chosen, changed. I started to change my mind back and forth, not being able to decide what I wanted to do. So this semester I thought that I would take several classes to help me make up my mind. As I took these classes I explored my options and found myself becoming more and more indecisive. I know that I want to do something that will help people. I want to do my share of good in the world. Yet there career that I had been looking into isn't always viewed that way. People wouldn't look at my career path and say, "Now there goes someone who wants to do good for the world." It doesn't even have to be the world. One person at a time would be fine.

Then as the semester progressed I realized that I didn't need require that my career let me do this. I could do it on my own without the help of a career. I could find time outside of work to do little acts of service. I did it in high school so why not in the job field. I have finally chosen my career and I am sticking to it. I might have to work harder and do more, but in the end it will be worth it. I might not like it at times, but I will be able to help somebody. My intellectual quest this year was finding out what the rest of my life would look like. It was finding goals and setting them. My intellectual quest has stemmed a greater quest and goal towards the near and distant future.

My Spiritual Quest

My spiritual quest was not as easy to find or define. I thought about the focus of my McKay essay and thought that the subject that I had written on would be my quest. Yet as I thought I realized that it wasn't quite right. I had one instance in my life that was part of my quest, but it didn't make up the quest entirely. Then, it came to me. My quest is trying to find where what I want in life and what the Lord wants for me, meet up. What I want and what He wants could be the same thing, but at different times. It happens so often in life. Where I desire one thing, but instead get another, or get what I want at a later time in life. The time table to Him is totally different from ours, and his is the only one that matters.

I also think that my quest had to parts. The other rooted from talking and arguing with friends about the heated subjects that our country has produced in the last few months. I find it easier to argue with stranger and to stand up for what you believe in because you don't know them as well, and as much as you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or put down anyone's opinions, it is easier to express your own with out those worries if it is with someone you don't know as well. Yet debating with your friends is a whole different matter. I found it hard to try to not offend them but still stick to what I believed. However, I had chosen my stance long before the issue came up. I wasn't going to be fence-sitter. The Lord doesn't need fence-sitters. He need people who will stand up and chose a side. It is hard to do when the side of the fence you choose, isn't the one your friends choose, but it has to be done.


The Fellowship of the Unashamed
author unknown

I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed.
The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.
I'm a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I have the Holy Spirit'S Power.
I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.
I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colourless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity.
I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded.
I now live by faith, lean on His presence, love with patience, live by prayer and labour with power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough,
my companions are few, my Guide is reliable, and my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deterred, diluted or delayed.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, let up, or slow up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up and spoken up for the cause of Christ.
I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I must go till' He comes, give till' I drop, preach till' all know and work till' He stops me.
And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.
My banner is clear: "I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.."
I am part of the 'Fellowship of the Unashamed.'

My intellectual quest, and spiritual quest (Cindy Hurst)

My Intellectual Quest

I knew far more as a child than I know now. Thus, I have been reverting to my childhood passions. Back then I was told I was gifted, and somehow I think I became lost as a teenager, attempting to use logic to explain my future.

When I was a young child, all I wanted was to be an artist. However, the adults of my world somehow managed to channel that passion and desire into becoming something more useful. Thus I started college as an engineer, and found the artist in me suffocated, and threatening to bring the rest of me to its grave with it as its last dieing wish. That’s when I first realized the errors in logic learned by the world, and left the University of Utah to come to BYU (another lost childhood desire) to study Industrial Design.

Creating has become my intellectual quest. Industrial design uses very little of the years I dedicated to becoming an engineer in high school and then in college, but I do not regret my decision to become a more artistic creator. It is my passion. Sometime ago I decided that if you are not happy, then do something else.

I do not memorize equations to solve derivatives and integrals. I explore forms, beauty, and simplicity. I do not record and analyze data. I research to discover why people are so willing to work around obvious and often overlooked problems, and attempt to find better solutions. I do not stay up late working on spreadsheets or programming. I pull all-nighters hoping to allow my project to approach perfection just a little closer. I am an Industrial Designer, and I love it.


My Spiritual Quest

At the end of the skiing season last year I decided to get my level 1 certification as a ski instructor. I didn’t expect much from the clinic I was required to attend. Level 1 skiing includes lots of snowplowing, and very basic skiing maneuvers. However, I learned more in that single day of skiing than I did in all of Sunday school as a child. My instructor explained to us this very basic concept:

When you are skiing, there are only three types of movement: movement in the right direction, movement in the wrong direction, and no movement at all. When you are skiing, your goal is to be moving downhill. You must constantly be moving towards that goal as you transition from edge to edge. This is movement in the right direction. Often times we try to sit too far backwards, and are actually hindering our ability to make it to our goal easily. This is movement in the wrong direction. Sometimes we choose no movement at all. This is lazy skiing. When we are not constantly moving towards our goal, we become off balance from the tiny bumps we encounter, and are actually spending more energy than what is necessary to counter our off-balance, which often throws us into the wrong direction.

I’m not sure exactly when it hit me but standing on that mountain that day I felt God speaking to me through my level 1 instructor, telling me that the reason I have fallen multiple times after being so strong in the past, was my lack of constant movement towards Christ. Often times, when I had started feeling good about my level of spirituality, I had chosen to try to maintain that level. However, maintaining is the same thing as no movement at all. It is only when I am constantly trying to be a better person, and come closer to Christ, that I am able to conquer the bumps that I hit throughout my life.

Spiritual & Intellectual Quest

As a goddess in embryo, it is my spiritual quest to find favor in the sight of my Father. Through a life of discipleship, virtue, and holiness, I am preparing to enter the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom of God.

My quest is like a tiny golden seed budding almost unnoticed. Though nurtured meekly in the shadows of this world’s lime light, its branches will one day reach the heavens, basking in the true light of God’s glory.

In my spiritual quest there are lives I seek to emulate. Like Rachel, who was “beautiful and well favored (Genesis 39:17),” and Mary, “most beautiful and fair above all . . .” I want to find beauty and favor in God’s eyes. The temptations of this world are my ever present, but only in righteousness is true happiness found ( Alma 41:10), and only in virtue is worth far above jewels ( Proverbs 31:10).

My intellectual quest is to know the mind and will of God. Christ beacons, “be perfect,” even as He and the Father (3 Nephi 12:48). My quest is to be obedient to His will, for in so doing I will have obtained this perfection, and will surely hear Him say “Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father” (Enos 1:27).

In an effort to find God, to know God, I desire to access the conduit of communication separating conscious reality from my supernal higher intelligence. I will seek Him through prayer, as it is my ever present lifeline with deity, and meditation, as it is “one of the most secret, most sacred doors through which we pass into the presence of the Lord” Clare Middlemiss, Man May Know for Himself, comp. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1969], 22-23).”

My intellectual quest is an aura, transparent, yet florid. My quest is an ambiance of light and knowledge, manifest by the energy and power of God. My quest encompasses all, the galaxy itself being merely a particle. It is that which cannot be created, even intelligence, which was from the beginning.

My life I’ve spent searching, wondering, what gift has God given me? I think I am finally starting to understand.

By inspiration, I travel my intellectual and spiritual quest as a writer (Moses 6:5). This is how I share with the world. I want to write “according to that which will be dictated by [God’s]
Spirit . . . (Doctrine & Covenants 104:81).” My writing is a way to give voice for people who cannot speak, like my mother. She has lived a quiet life, never graduating with a prestigious degree, or traveling to far off places. She loves to write, yet has never been published. She loves to paint, but without a name. My mother dedicated her life to raising ten children up unto The Lord. She lives in our shadows, often questioning her own worth and what she will leave behind, but when I write, her sacrifices are no longer unknown. When I write I paint the picture of all she has done, and I set her free, and she cries.

In my quest, I must contribute to the quest of God’s church. I am here at this great university to learn to speak and write that I might more proficiently proclaim the gospel in Chinese. I will continue to redeem the dead through vicarious service in the House of God. I will write for my ancestors; I will tell the stories of all those who long to speak from the dust’s cumbering silence. I will perfect the saints through my righteous example, through the things God shows me, and the things I share.

This semester has helped me to discover some of my innate spiritual gifts. I am grateful for the opportunity to record my quest, for a goal without being written down is just a fleeting dream. I’m finding that to know who I am, and the purpose of my mortal sojourn, makes all the difference in the world.

Spiritual & Intellectual Quest

Spiritual Quest

My spiritual quest is to be happy as I live the commandments of God. My quest is a conglomeration of recognizing the Lord in my life and trying to learn and become what he would have me learn and become. As I reflect on my spiritual quest I see that there are many constants that permeate my life that bring me joy and peace. Some of these constants are: prayer, church attendance, scripture reading, and random tender mercies of the Lord. These constants always bless my life and help me to grow spiritually. I find that often my quest does not go where I want it to go, but rather my Father shows me what I need to know. My quest for spiritual growth and happiness has most recently been defined by God’s tender mercies. For example:
· Conference talks at school
· Exercise science reading packet
· Interacting with the Missionaries at the MTC (Himnos y más)

These experiences have helped me to grow closer to the Lord on a daily basis. Furthermore, they have helped to give me the hope and courage necessary for life’s daily adventures.

Intellectual Quest

My intellectual quest has been to gain lasting knowledge rather than just fleeting factual information. I want to learn the subject material thoroughly. I do not want to cram for a test and lose all of that knowledge two weeks down the road. My quest is truly to learn. I do not know where I read this quote, but it exemplifies my quest. “Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.” If I fail to prepare and do not study well, I will not learn. I may pass a test but the knowledge I seek will not stay with me. My intellectual quest this semester has led me to study with a purpose and do beyond the bare minimum required for the coveted “A” grade. As I have approached learning with a more long term point of view, I have noticed that I enjoy my classes much more and I am truly gaining a working knowledge.

Revised Abstract

Title: The Naturalization of a Citizen of the World (or, Travels)

Background:

I was originally planning to do a re-write of a paper I wrote for my IAS 220 class on AIDS in Senegal; however, once the Mayhew contest was announced in class I started toying with the idea of doing a series of shorter poems instead. In these poems, I will attempt to capture both the feel of and (parts of) my experiences in different countries to which I have traveled.

Purpose:

To artfully recreate and share what I have experienced and learned through my travels.

Method:

I will use different poem styles (haiku, hymn, free, and others) to capture the feel of different countries and present them in a series.

abstract. revised

I had posted a story earlier, but for some reason the other day this idea popped into my mind. It seemed kind of dark at first, but the more I thought and wrote it, the more I wanted to see where it lead.
The idea came to me in the form of a title. "The Interview" was the name that came to mind.
It would be a short story that would hopefully get people thinking in a subtle way. It is about someone who has a chance to interview the adversary. The questions are how? and why? How is he planning to try and disrupt the plan, and why would these things work. I want to bring these subjects to the front of the minds of the readers with out accusing anyone of anything. I will post a little bit on the drafts blog. Tell me what you think

Abstract – Mayhew Contest (Revised)

I have completely had a change of heart. Originally, I was content with the idea of using a past research paper – on Alcoholic Liver Cirrhosis – to fulfill the Conference paper requirement, after all it would be less work on my part.

However, after hearing about the Mayhew Contest, I decided that it would be much more fun to write a short story, and a nice change of scenery to the science research papers that I am used to. Also, creative writing was always my favorite thing to do in secondary school English classes. If my dream was not to become a doctor, then I probably would pursue being an author of children’s books. I may even get to do both someday.

I chose to write a young adult’s mystery, which I have titled: “The Lemon Drop Kids and the Mystery of the Black Hooded Shadow”. I have always loved to read fiction, especially as a child, and going to the library to check out multiple books at a time was a highlight for me. I even had this goal, as a child, to try and read all of the books in the children’s section at our small community library. I never made it, but I think I came pretty close.

Mysteries have always been one of my favorite genres to read, I used to read series such as “The Boxcar Children” and “Nancy Drew” and so thought it would be interesting, and challenging to write one of my own. However, I knew that having a maximum of six thousand words would be difficult to work with.

Conference Paper Abstract Revised

Title: Music is Key to Learning

Background:

For years people have done studies researching the positive effects of music education. The Utah Legislature is currently trying to remove the elective (music) classes from the curriculum, and this will greatly hinder a child’s learning capabilities.

Purpose:

I will prove to the Utah Legislature and all readers, that music education in the school is vital to a child’s education and overall success in life.

Method:

I will study previous research, read studies, gather quotes, organize facts, and present statistics that will prove how a child’s life is enhanced by music education.

Anticipated Results:

I plan to demonstrate that music education has positive effects on every facet of a child’s life: math, reading, memory, spatial relationships, coordination, self-esteem, discipline, and relationships with peers.

I am going to create my own blog to present my research to a broad audience.

McKay Essay: Climbing With Patience

David O. McKay Essay: Draft 4

The Restored Gospel and Applied Christianity

Climbing With Patience

Before climbing Mt. Kilamanjaro I didn’t know what patience was. “Polay, polay” the porter calls. We continue at our pace despite his warning to slow down. The tropical rainforest of the friendly day now lurks over our heads with mysterious fear in the dark, frigid night. Our ears hear the earth moan beneath us, our feet covered in mud now freezing over. I slip on the trail, my frostbitten hands feeling for the unprotected roots of a nearby tree found with the aid of my headlamp. “Polay, polay!” resonates again in my aching ears, as I fail to obey the literal meaning of these words: “slow down, slow down!” I found patience to be a controlled, diligent ascent with hope for what lies ahead. Patience is the ability to climb with gratitude a mountain’s obstacles, appreciating the journey at even a slow pace. Patience is needed to climb the mountain successfully, taking time to help others along the way. Patience is a manifestation of love.

“Hold your horses,” “Keep your shirt on,” “Slow down,” “Don’t be in such a hurry,” “Follow the rules,” “Be careful” are more than trite expressions. They describe sincere counsel and speak the wisdom of experience.” (Thomas S. Monson)

The highest peak in Africa brings opportunities for wise counsel to be followed or discarded. Despite continual exhortations, we continue quickly, greedy with empty stomachs seeking to be filled. We know the camp is near. As the terrain becomes steeper, our mountain guide cries more firmly “Polay! Polay!” Our eyes cannot see the narrow ridge ahead, as we climb without the wisdom of experience. Soon thereafter, “Help!!” a panicked cry sounds amidst our group. “Help! Helllllp!” a screeching cry is put to a halt with the strong dark hands of the savior in the night. The strong porter who dropped everything else he was carrying at the sound of a frantic cry, now labors to pull a wayward climber back up over the ledge she hadn’t seen. Bushes ruffle in the dark night, and excitement resonates within our group of frightened mountaineers. The one wayward mountaineer is a good representation of the entire group who chose not to follow several of the previous warnings.

------------------------

Roosters crow disrupting the silence of the dark night, now beginning to stir with the anticipation of morning. Acatia trees are illuminated along the horizon as morning awakes. Babies cry, children’s feet shuffle along dirt roads sending stones rolling down the road to school. Thump, thump, thump…empty cans bounce on the rear of a donkey traveling for water with the loud snap of a whip coming from a small boy hearding livestock. A hustle and bustle along the main road is felt as smiles and greetings exchange on the way to the market.

A street dog yawns and stretches after being awakened by the sound of howling rubber tires and honking horns along the main road. My neck jerks suddenly, my resting eyes now made alert, my heart begins to race at the sound of shrilling brakes, my body forced from the left to the right. “Not again,” I thought. With the tilt of a wrist my watch mocks our tardy state; each second seems as a year while we wait again for livestock to clear the road. Our driver smiles while we watch each tick of the clock with unrest. Impatience is a choice.

“Patience may well be thought of as a gateway virtue, contributing to the growth and strength of its fellow virtues of forgiveness, tolerance, and faith.” (Robert C. Oaks)

Finally at the base of Mount Kilamanjaro Abdu, gives his hand to be greeted differently than most men do. He humbly offers the stub of his right arm ending just before the elbow’s usual formation. I shake, taking little time to act surprised at the feel of a limp, spongy stub. We exchange quick friendly greetings, and Abdu expresses his positive outlook on life as he cheerfully swings my week’s belongings onto his back. “We are go now!” he declares with a grin; for Abdu there is always time for optimism.

Right, left, right, left…step-by-step we ascend. The entire group works together to progress up the mountain, traveling at a pace to accommodate several different abilities. I feel held back, and easily frustrated with stops along the way. Abdu stops to point out flowers of purple, blue, yellow, and bright pink defeating steep cliffs, boulders, and switchbacks. “Zey grow up de mountain togezer slow and so do we” he states. He sees what I don’t in the cold morning shade.

Fallen leaves frozen over, crunch under our feet, yearning for the day’s first warmth of the sun. Light brings a new perspective to time. The morning mist lifts, revealing the trail more clearly. My legs itch with excitement, pushing me forward despite the wise counsel given the group to patiently ascend together. Butterflies of vibrant colors effortlessly flutter us by, traveling up the mountain ahead, and I long to join them. Fed up with the slow (yet steady) pace, I justify my leap ahead. “I want to be first to the top!” I don’t see that I must have others to help me ascend - to wait for Abdu seems foolish. He remains with the group, helping others along and cheerfully educating those he leads in broken English. Exquisite birds soar with their glorious orange, turquoise and deep black feathers, cheering my flight through their long beaks. I feel their approval and rationalize it to be enough.

“Patience must be our constant companion during the journey which carries us toward that great goal, “Continue in patience until ye are perfected,” [which is] the counsel the Lord gave, (Doctrine & Covenants 67:13).” Angel Abrea

Without the companionship of patience, the path seems clearly marked with signs the first few miles until it splits in two and the empty reality of my solo race sets in. I wait for a moment. A drop of dew from the tropical foliage above startles me on my forehead. Unfamiliar animals screech, and their shrill-like commune echoes from all directions. Flowers, trees, and bushes, I perceive to be closing in on my path, hiding unknown dangers. What was beautiful and adventurous begins to threaten as my distance from the group lengthens. “What should I do? I cannot stop! Not now! This is just the beginning.” My young mind rivets on the summit with still 17,000 feet to go. The euphoria of solitude on Africa’s highest ascent fills my being with selfish ambition as I pass by others without asking who I may be able to help. Yet, I know that to be perfected alone is impossible.

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1 (Paul)

Scurrying up the mountain, I neglect to sight the grey clouds above which descend to damper my adventurous high with the heavens’ release of humility. A downpour of golf-ball size rain drops and the thunderous growl of the angry sky chasten me. Through fierce winds and rains, I swallow, pausing to catch my breath. Slipping and falling on several occasions in my attempt to climb through the storm on my own, thick mud covers my feet, my hands, and my arms and legs. I stop…I pray….this great cloud is to great to conquer alone.

Climbing with patience is climbing with hope; the two are inseparable. The word “esperar” in the Spanish language contributes to the relationship between hope and patience with its two definitions: “to wait for” or “to hope for.” Climbing the highest peak in Peru a few years after attempting Mt. Kilamanjaro, I found myself waiting and hoping for the peak’s glorious outlook, while still finding joy in the slow-paced journey. While Wynapichu is a much smaller mountain, it still presents the same challenges that come with a group climb, patiently working together to ascend.

I descend back towards the group with damaged pride and feeling defeat. Patience often requires repentance. I realize the climb up Mt. Kilamanjaro is not a race, but a journey that must be paced. Patience is a virtue I now seek through action, rather than waiting for it to find me. Brushing a clump of mud from my brow with my right forearm, I smile at my hard-working friend Abdu (who looks no fatigue). “Jambo!” I declare after using my limited native vocabulary to express my apologies for disregarding his previous counsel. The surrounding porters chuckle at my mud-covered appearance, and we laugh together while continuing the ascent. Their abounding enthusiasm and optimism through the storm helps our group endure the storm with dilligence. Thunder, and then another flash of light, opens the heavens. We prevail with patience the giant drops of water amidst the beautiful, lush and green rainforests. Our surroundings seem no longer threatening, but beautiful, mixing culture and harvesting respect and hope through the storm.

“Tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope.” Romans 5:3-4

“Polay, polay” the porter calls. The storm now clear, we desire to make up for lost time in the hours of the evening. We continue at our quick pace despite his warning to slow down. The tropical rainforest of the friendly day now lurks over our heads with mysterious fear in the dark, frigid night. Our ears hear the earth moan beneath us, our feet covered in frozen mud. Climbing a steep ascent of the trail, my frostbitten hands feeling for the unprotected roots of a nearby tree found with the aid of my headlamp. “Polay, polay” resonates again in my ears made numb with the cold. Despite continual exhortations, we continue quickly, greedy with empty stomachs seeking to be filled. We know the camp is near. As the terrain becomes steeper, our mountain guide cries more firmly “Polay! Polay!” Our eyes cannot see the narrow ridge ahead. “Help!!” a panicked cry sounds amidst our group. “Help! Helllllp!” a screeching cry is put to a halt with the strong dark hands of the savior in the night. Trial and tribulation make it evident that we are weak and in need of some greater source of guidance to lead us through our experience.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

The strong porter who dropped everything else he was carrying at the sound of a frantic cry, now labored to pull a wayward climber back up over the ledge she hadn’t seen. As bushes are ruffled in the dark night, and grunts of exertion sound from the guide, excitement resonates within our group of still, frightened mountaineers. Success temporarily relieves fear; we know that God’s hand is with us despite our failure to follow instruction. He will not let us fail if we will heed His guidance. We continue the night’s adventure once more, now walking on a frozen trail as if it were a path of egg shells, carefully listening to the counsel of our guide with each step. “Polay! Polay!” is all we can think or say or do in hopes that with patience we may avoid another wayward incident. Patience is stillness, carefully listening along the way.

“Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days.” Doctrine & Covenants 24:8

Scattered among rocks big and small by God’s omnipotent hand, the seeds of truth lay unseen, humbly hidden by the brilliance of something grandeous, picturesque and magnificent. The new day brings new perspective. My eyes are open to beauties passed by the day before. The beauty and warmth of light end the bitter night and bring optimism to postlude the life-endangering dark despair. The hours of darkness our group begrudged poorly with complaint and murmur, were endured by the mountain guides, who remained constant, calm and content. I ask Abdu how he does it. “Practeece” he replies. “I climb dis mountain so many timez…and alwayz God, He be zer.” Patience is enduring well without end, and thus, patience takes practice.

Before beginning our ascent with new ears and fresh eyes, Abdu approaches our group with a heavy head. His usual sanguine and upbeat persona was covered by uncertainty and concern on his face. We wait for his command to rally us up the mountain together….but it never comes. “We don’t go today up” he shares. Silence…. “We go today down” he speaks softly with disappointment. The executive decision that our group was not strong enough to continue with the difficult terrain and weather ahead, brought disillusionment, distress, and discontent. Frustration escalates to become anger amidst the group, targeting Abdu.

“Anger can be conquered by developing patience and sincerely desiring to love others more than self.” Gordon T. Watts

“You are not fail!” cried Abdu in an attempt to lift our spirits. “We go!” He would not let us feel defeat. Regretting our previous day’s mistakes, we follow Abdu back down the mountain against our own will. We trust Abdu and we feel his loving concern. Anger in our downtrodden hearts melts away with the rising sun. Abdu stops to point out flowers of purple, blue, yellow, and bright pink winding their way down from steep cliffs, boulders, and switchbacks. “Zey grow down de mountain togezer slow, and we go ze same way.” He sees what we don’t in the cold morning shade with boundless patience as we descend.

The Lord said, “Ye are not able to abide the presence of God now, neither the ministering of angels; wherefore, continue in patience until ye are perfected,

(D&C 67:13).” This is good advice for all of us. (Cecil O. Samuelson)

I patiently await the day of return to climb Mount Kilamanjaro, with active hope that the opportunity to summit presents itself. Retrospectively I see that I was not prepared. Before this climbing experience I often took for granted many of the beauties around me, without taking the time to stop and take in the grandeur of my current position. While I still fall short, often anticipating the next step in climbing life’s mountain, I have learned to find joy in the journey up life’s mountains, enduring the storms and stopping to help others along the way. If I proceed patiently, I know God’s loving hand will guide me to the summit of all mountains…even if it takes a multiple attempts to summit.