Serenity
Light crisp air, nourishing flowers, sinuous water, tender life, beating hearts
Captured, poised with such gentle repose
Colors rich, sharp, clear suspend in the glow of dusk
All sense of immediacy abandoned as countless memories permeate the print of this place, this moment
Clouds lift off distant mountains in so soft a grey mist
Brilliant amber glow pulls out of them, reaching, yet unable to spread the expanse of Gods infinite sky
Comfort is rendered through the crumbling pavement beneath my bare feet
Still warm from basking in the sun’s glow
Warn smooth through years of the tread of friendly steps
Beautiful conversations and moments rise, swirl, and settle all around me with the wisps of dust
Escaping from my comfort swing as I sway in hushed creaks
Fountain waters flow full with wishes past
Trickling over the strong, handsome stone and out from my heart into the Heavens
Warmth and support of my loved ones tenderly cradle me here
As I look out at the vast firmament and the amazing, scary, beautiful world in its embrace
Abrupt demands, worries and approaching fears abandoned supplant solely with gratitude and awe
With My Love by my side
Perfect, If but for a moment
This is perfect, this is a gift, this is my moment
This is my home.
Light crisp air, nourishing flowers, sinuous water, tender life, beating hearts
Captured, poised with such gentle repose
Colors rich, sharp, clear suspend in the glow of dusk
All sense of immediacy abandoned as countless memories permeate the print of this place, this moment
Clouds lift off distant mountains in so soft a grey mist
Brilliant amber glow pulls out of them, reaching, yet unable to spread the expanse of Gods infinite sky
Comfort is rendered through the crumbling pavement beneath my bare feet
Still warm from basking in the sun’s glow
Warn smooth through years of the tread of friendly steps
Beautiful conversations and moments rise, swirl, and settle all around me with the wisps of dust
Escaping from my comfort swing as I sway in hushed creaks
Fountain waters flow full with wishes past
Trickling over the strong, handsome stone and out from my heart into the Heavens
Warmth and support of my loved ones tenderly cradle me here
As I look out at the vast firmament and the amazing, scary, beautiful world in its embrace
Abrupt demands, worries and approaching fears abandoned supplant solely with gratitude and awe
With My Love by my side
Perfect, If but for a moment
This is perfect, this is a gift, this is my moment
This is my home.
6 comments:
Well done, k.lee (is it Kelsey?). Short comment here, but when I read your blog, I wonder how the pictures you posted fit in with the picture you write for you, specifically. Perhaps that's not a question you care to answer, but I wonder nonetheless.
The feelings of contentment coming through this piece really speak to my heart. Life is good! One direction to consider is adding a line or two about the people you love earlier in the poem, so that when the second-to-last stanza comes, it will provide an ellipses of sorts, bringing additional balance to the form of an already graceful poem.
Your imagery is beautiful. I appreciate the thought and time you have put into selecting your various descriptive words.
A question, when you say "...with my love..." are you referring to your boyfriend, and was he with you while you were writing this?
And way cute pics!
Thank you for being so brave by servers as one of our first presenters for the peer review training in class yesterday. I was very happy that Daniel chose you because your piece was poetic. You showed how our writing practices can be composed into various genre, not just in prose. Have you had a class in creative writing? Would you consider condensing these lovely images and loving thoughts into a set form, for example a long-meter (8-8-8-8) syllable-count lyric poem? Your verse has long Whitman-like lines. Try taking the most specific details and packing them into a sonnet or another traditional form.
"Beautiful converstations and moments rise, swirl, and settle all around me with the wisps of dust." I love this line! It's like you took a moment and captured it in sixteen words!
Beautiful imagery! I love your descriptions. You have a way of describing things with lists that is beautiful rather than boring or redundant (e.g., "the amazing, scary, beautiful world" and "moments rise, swirl, and settle"), which I think is quite a feat.
Consider giving the poem more structure. Maybe it was the centered text that was throwing me off, but I couldn't find a structured form to follow.
Great job.
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