Monday, September 22, 2008

Revised: Determined


Defeat's shackles constrain us from the start
We break them
Freedom to move

Walls block our way
We go around, over, under, through
They can't stop us

Desire is strength
Will can't be kept still

The path's end is in plain sight

2 comments:

kaitlyn.e said...

The amount of information and feeling you convey in this short poem is impressive. You have condensed this experience and the attached emotions, without losing important information. I do wonder, though, why "chains of defeat bind us from the start." What are those chains of defeat? Are they self-imposed? If not, who chained us? Why? Not all of these questions necessarily have to be answered in your poem, but they are things you should consider as you are writing.

Cynthia Hallen said...

I agree with Kaitlyn that this poem speaks volumes. I remember the how determined you and Cindy were to make it to the summit of Timp. Could you reveal a little more about the time, place, setting? If not in the poem itself, then in the title or in the footnote label place?