The amount of information and feeling you convey in this short poem is impressive. You have condensed this experience and the attached emotions, without losing important information. I do wonder, though, why "chains of defeat bind us from the start." What are those chains of defeat? Are they self-imposed? If not, who chained us? Why? Not all of these questions necessarily have to be answered in your poem, but they are things you should consider as you are writing.
I agree with Kaitlyn that this poem speaks volumes. I remember the how determined you and Cindy were to make it to the summit of Timp. Could you reveal a little more about the time, place, setting? If not in the poem itself, then in the title or in the footnote label place?
2 comments:
The amount of information and feeling you convey in this short poem is impressive. You have condensed this experience and the attached emotions, without losing important information. I do wonder, though, why "chains of defeat bind us from the start." What are those chains of defeat? Are they self-imposed? If not, who chained us? Why? Not all of these questions necessarily have to be answered in your poem, but they are things you should consider as you are writing.
I agree with Kaitlyn that this poem speaks volumes. I remember the how determined you and Cindy were to make it to the summit of Timp. Could you reveal a little more about the time, place, setting? If not in the poem itself, then in the title or in the footnote label place?
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