One Giant Leap (Revised Memory)

I take one deep breath, close my eyes tightly and silently count one, two…three. Then it happens. There’s no turning back.

The time had come for me to pack my life away into two, overly stuffed suitcases. It took a miracle, but I managed. I used the little time I had left to take one last, longing look at my room. Suddenly, flashbacks raced through my mind, but stayed long enough to fully appreciate them.

As a little girl I remember playing ‘teacher’ in my room. Giving endless spelling tests to my dolls was what I enjoyed most. What an awful teacher I would make! As I grew older, my room became a stage and I was the star. I would sing and wildly dance to the Spice Girls’ first album in front of my mirror. Frequently, my mother would come up and tell me to calm down because the ceiling would literally be shaking.

My room has seen it all, the good and the bad. It has been the host of many girlie sleepovers, has had pink nail polish spill on the cream colored carpet and has been littered with clothes in an attempt for me to find the perfect outfit for my crush’s party.

“Sof it’s time to go, the taxi is here,” the sound of my dad’s voice brings me back to the present. Why has it taken this long to realize and appreciate that my room has always been there for me? It has grown up with me, allowed me to dream and has offered a pillow or two to cry into after a bad day, but now I am turning my back on it.

Eleven airplane hours go by.

‘Ding’, the seatbelt sign flicks on. So soon had the time come to land; I did not feel ready. I felt as if I was falling down into the unknown; everything soon to come was beyond my control, but I was not alone. My parents and sister were still there beside me and that comforted me.

Life's next hurdle had finally arrived: college. I had dreamed for this day to come, but then it suddenly hit me, my last day of high school was like my last day of childhood. I must finally face the reality of adulthood.

Maturity: to leave that nest where everything feels familiar, and to walk out alone beyond our comfort zone.

At the turn of a bent dorm room key, my destiny awaited. This perfectly shaped square with four whitewashed walls and bad lighting was my new home sweet home. I did not yet know that sleepless nights, endless homework and the annoyance of my roommate’s alarm clock were to be associated with my new room. Nor did I anticipate the frequent visits from newly made friends, late movie nights and silly pranks.

Fighting to hold back those stubborn tears as I said goodbye to my mother was certainly a difficult challenge, one that I failed miserably. I did not want to reveal how weak and vulnerable I felt inside. I had to show her that I could take this one giant leap.

The first night in my alien dorm room was lonely and long. I never realized how much I would miss the people and places that were apart of my home and heart, until I had to say goodbye.

My new room will never compare to the former, and even though my surroundings are strangely unfamiliar I am safe. Now, it is up to me to find my way.