Thursday, September 18, 2008
A Mackeral of a Memory (Revised)
Bzzzz! The humming of the straps holding the canoe battles the sound of the tires over mountain road and wins out. My roommate and I top the last rise and begin descending into the valley holding the lucid water of Fish Lake, anticipating a peaceful weekend with water, fish, and canoe. The aspens cover the west side of the valley, possibly the most massive organism I have ever seen, sharing a huge root network supporting thousands of trees. I keep watching them, looking at their quaking leaves like millions of green coins suspended on bony fingers. I climbed the same skeletal trees in the front yard of my childhood home. They are much smaller now that I have grown. A bump brings me back from my reverie and we soon stop to find a camping spot. The fish are biting, we're told by the campsite manager, so we grab the canoe off the car and head down to the lake. So heavy on our shoulders down the path to the shore, the canoe skims lightly over the darkening surface of the water as we shove off. Strong strokes bring us across the deepening waters to the other side of the lake, where hide the Mackinaw, they say, and a few fishermen still troll that shore in their boats. Some carry the huge lake trout on chains caught and left dangling in the water beside the boats. Excited, we begin to fish. We bait our hooks, cast, and wait. I reel in, cast, and wait. The sunset disappears. I reel in, cast, and wait again. Stars prick the shadowed globe above us, and we return our poles, untried, to the canoe and set paddles again to the water. The moon remains hidden and everything but the lights on the bank is black. Tonight the fish will rest, but tomorrow…
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2 comments:
This reminds me of Tibble Lake Reservoir. I sometimes drive up there at night to see the moon and stars, and to hear the brook flowing into the lake. I like your image of aspen coins on bony fingers. Are some of the transitions between sentences jumpy? What is the subtext of this memory? What did you learn from this experience? Try to attach memory and meaning more directly.
I love that your memory is in the present tense. I like your descriptions of the aspen trees and your repetition of "I reel in, cast, and wait." Sometimes it did feel a little jumpy. For example, I was confused when you started taklinga bout the Mackinaw. It didn't seem to relate to anything else around it (though your description of it was interesting.) Good job!
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