Self-Reliance (Revised)

For some, having a mentor or person who believes in you can give you that extra push in the right direction. For others, the opposite is true – it is only when you feel completely abandoned that you turn to the Lord and are able to regroup and recuperate. At times, we must turn inward rather than outward for inspiration. Although many of us are blessed with amazing support systems full of people eager to help, there are times where we cannot let our burdens be shouldered by others. We must find inner strength and allow ourselves to rely on the Lord. It is by facing our problems or fears head-on, in a one-on-one battle, that we are able to address them, and therefore overcome them fully. Shielding given by others is only a temporary fix. Once we learn to recognize the strength we possess and when we rely on our Father in Heaven, we will continue to be able to draw upon that strength – even when all other support is removed.

I learned my lesson in the eighth grade. I had my group of best friends, and we did everything together. We ate lunch together, we talked on the phone to each other, we passed notes between classes… we were inseparable. Over time, however, it became more and more apparent to me that I didn’t really fit into this cookie cutter group. The value I placed on education, open-mindedness, and the Gospel really set me apart from my friends. Being eighth grade girls, they took every opportunity possible to see how far they could push me. I was invited to participate in the ridicule of others, to watch inappropriate movies, to attend sketchy parties… to become involved in various activities that I wasn’t comfortable with. They would become frustrated with me for going against the standards they had set, and one day they decided that “the Mormon girl” simply didn’t fit in.

A note. That was all I got from them. A simple phrase. "I don't think we can be friends anymore. Sorry." Decorated with flowers, elaborately folded... the verdict was in and my sentence was to be exiled.

I was left completely alone, or so I thought at the time. At first, I thought my eighth grade world would end. I just knew that I would never make new friends, that everyone was judging me, and that life couldn’t possibly go on. I bemoaned my situation to my mom, and I avoided everyone at school.

After a while, however, I came to the realization that a group of girls couldn’t make or break me. I came to more fully understand that I was a daughter of God and that I was tough. I told myself that I could go out, start over, and meet new people who would be accepting of a “Mormon girl.” If nothing else, I could rely on myself and the knowledge that what I was standing up for was right, and I would survive my junior high years. Once I gained confidence and an optimistic outlook, I immediately found a new group of kids who were open-minded towards my religion and happy to let me keep my standards.

On a more enduring level than eighth grade friends, however, I learned independence from other people and dependence on the Lord and my own ability to cope and survive. When life places obstacles in my path, I no longer look to someone else to help me over. I have confidence in myself and I know that I can handle anything that life throws my way.